It’s a Sunday. The Lord’s day. A time to break bread, and reflect. So, what better way to see out the weekend than with the Married at First Sight Australia last supper.
That’s right, folks. It’s the final Dinner Party for 2022 and I for one, am hungry for some action.
Much like the biblical last supper, I reckon there’s going to be a f*ck load of betrayal.
Who will betray our Jesus (Domenica)? Who will sin (Olivia)? Who’s going to be resurrected (all of them, on Instagram, post-show)?
IT’S THE FINAAAAL MORNIIIIING
Gooooooood morning! It’s the final morning of the experiment. We made it, kids. We did it.
I am feeling about as logical, intelligent and comprehensive as Jack waking up.
It’s time for the couples to reflect on the Boys’ and Girls’ Night where everyone was so rip-roaring drunk it was hard to tell what was going on.
Olivia tells Jackson she’s not sure how anything kicked off, but primarily blames Selin for the drama. This might be true, but drama also follows Olivia, so it’s a bit pot-kettle-black.
In a bed across the Sky Suite, Selina is nursing both a physical and moral hangover. She feels guilty for having any involvement in the OnlyFans scandal that has dominated the second half of this season.
Selina tells her meek husband Cody that she’s not this sort of girl, and she feels terrible for making Domenica feel so bad. What?! Is this remorse?! On MAFS?! Well, I’ll be damned. We love this sort of character arc.
Selina visits Domenica and they have a chat about it. Domenica accepts her apology, and the two show us that women can have mature, adult conversations.
Selina then gifts Domenica a Vegemite pencil case and a box of chocolates and OMG can someone leak my OnlyFans so that I can also get one of these gift bags?
IT’S TIME TO GET REAADDYYY!
In a much more hostile environment, Tamara and Brent have had a total breakdown in their tumultuous relationship after Tamara accused her fake husband of not having a life or a career. Tamara lives in Lala Land a.k.a the Gold Coast as an office assistant for a realtor, she’s not exactly Steve Jobs.
Brent is getting ready by himself because why the f*ck would you want to get ready with someone who has constantly trashed your lifestyle, career, and life choices? I’m surprised that Tamara didn’t end up in the drink, TBF.
Doubling down on her repulsive attitude, Tamara continued to trash Brent at the Girls’ Night at a fkn venue he manages. You could not make this sh*t up.
Tamara says she doesn’t want drama tonight and visits Brent to see if they can go into the dinner party together as “adults”. Brent, being an actual adult, agrees with Tamara.
In the world of Mitch and Ella, Mitch is refusing to give Ella what she wants. And literally all Ella wants to know is if after the experiment they will pursue a relationship. A completely legit question that Mitch refuses to acknowledge.
In some good news, Mitch has decided to repurpose an old couch and make it into a suit. We love upcycling clothes!
Back at Jack and Domenica’s, they are in a great place. These two give me life. They’re ready to enter as a team, and I stan them.
But over in team hell, Olivia and Jackson are getting ready while Olivia, to the surprise of literally zero people, refuses to give up the ongoing rivalry with Domenica.
At this point, Olivia is a disgusting and boring broken record and says that Domenica will probably bring it up. Lol, she does understand irony, doesn’t she?
She says again that she doesn’t see the problem with it, and honestly this woman makes Bryce Ruthven look like Mother Theresa at this point. She is a boring nuisance.
She tells us that she doesn’t have “any sympathy or empathy”, and tell me something I don’t know, Olivia!
She continues whinge over and over again and has uttered the word “photo” so many times that it’s actually lost all meaning.
IT’S COCKTAIL PARTY TIIIIIMEEEE!!
Enough with the preamble. It’s time to get these lions into the zoo and throw in some raw meat.
It’s time for the cocktail party.
In rainy Uber rides across Sydney, couples reflect on what they’ll miss the most after these disaster Dinner Parties end.
Mitch says he’s going to “miss the arguing and the complaining.” Mitch is an annoying idiot but sometimes he’s really funny.
First ones to enter are Mitch and Ella. They’re hot, they’re horny. I’m happy to have them at the Last Supper.
Next in is Olivia and Jackson. Olivia and Jackson are so forgettable looking. They look like video game characters before you’ve added distinguishable features.
Brent and Tamara arrive together, looking like a brother and sister who just had a huge blow-up in the car ride there.
Brent says that Tamara didn’t say one word to him in the Uber ride to the party.
These two literally hate one another. Their pain and suffering has become my pain and suffering. Make it STOP.
Cody and Selina are next, and they look hot and happy. I’m happy that Selina is happy but I wish that she was happy with someone that isn’t Cody because Cody sucks lol.
The final couple are Domenica and Jack. Olivia says that she hopes she doesn’t have to say a single word to them, because she’s one cool, laidback and mature chick.
Olivia tells Tamara, “I’m not hugging them. Sorry, but no.”
Don’t apologise, Olivia! Domenica doesn’t want to hug you either!!
IT’S FINAL DINNER PARTY TIIIIIIMMMMMEEEEE!
DING DING DING! The bell has been rung. It is time to enter the ring. It’s time to take a seat at the table.
Ella makes a speech. She says that it’s “epic” they’ve all lasted hell and have made it to the final dinner party and that tonight is the night to get anything off your chest so that you don’t leave with regrets.
That… sounds like a fkn terrible idea, Ella.
Domenica agrees and says that Selina has extended an olive branch in the form of a Vegemite pencil case and they have made up.
Tamara, almost immediately, asks Selina why she did the decent thing and apologised to Domenica for taking part in revenge porn.
Tamara and Olivia, who are the IRL version of Mean Girls, are disgusted with Selina’s behaviour of… * checks notes * apologising for being part of bullying.
This is psychotic behaviour at this point that I’m struggling to make jokes or light of it. It’s disgusting.
Cody, who up until now has shown the emotional intelligence of a 10-year-old, agrees with Selina and apologises to Domenica.
“Although we don’t always see eye-to-eye, I am sorry,” Cody tells Domenica, showing a side of Cody I can finally get behind. Hell yeah, Cody! (It’s bare minimum sh*t, I know, but i’ll take anything.
You know who doesn’t give a f*ck about a character arc? Olivia and Tamara. They cut off Domenica graciously accepting the apology and say, “Can you wrap it up?”
I can’t believe these people are real. They are cartoonishly villainous. They are straight up evil.
Olivia gets up and joins Tamara down her end of the table and, for something completely unusual, starts complaining.
Olivia then says that at least she’s happy and she’s going to, “Cuddle the absolute balls of my husband tonight,” confirming that she is both evil and also really dumb.
Brent, the fallen angel that he is, tells Domenica that he is sorry for any part that he might have played in hurting her.
“It was shocking behaviour,” he tells Domenica.
Olivia and Tamara watch on. They are shocked that they have lost control of the group like this.
“I have said all I have to say about it,” says Olivia, reminding us all that she doesn’t give a solitary f*ck.
Tamara says she has nothing nice to say, but considering Tamara has never once said anything nice, no one is shocked.
The attention turns now to the Girls’ Night draaama. Domenica calls it what I call all my Hinge dates: “Really disappointing.”
Selina says there was a lot of yelling. Primarily due to Selin being egged by producers.
Tamara then says that she has “no time for Selin”. Tamara, you barely have time for your own family, of course you have no time for Selin.
She says that Selin said things about her relationships that aren’t true. Brent asks what was said.
Oh, sh*t.
Olivia says that Tamara said only good things, which Domenica quickly shut down. “She was saying not so many nice things about Brent before the other girls arrived.”
Oh my god.
Ella backs her up and confirms that Tamara was trashing Brent.
Oh my GAWD.
Jack asks what went down, and Olivia and Tamara both forget yet AGAIN that there are cameras recording everything and lie. They say that it was all about the last date / huge fight they had.
Domenica, queen of the world, pipes up.
“Were you at a different table? You shat on him for twenty minutes.”
Olivia and Tamara gaslight Brent, Domenica and Australia. In their eyes, there is literally NO WAY that Tamara would sh*t on Brent. Except that she would, we saw her do it.
“What exactly did she say that was her sh*tting on Brent?” asks Olivia, before accusing Domenica of “straight up lying.”
These dinner parties and Olivia’s pathological lies are so hard to keep up with these days. It’s is tres confusing.
Domenica then confirms the actual truth.
“Tamara says she doesn’t know what Brent does for a living, she thinks he serves tables.” HOLY F*CK!
Olivia quickly says that Domenica is lying. Tamara sits in a very telling silence.
Brent, rightfully, is fkn upset. It’s not about what he does, it’s about that Tamara doesn’t give a sh*t about anyone but herself.
Everyone else around the table agrees that they know what Brent does for a living and Tamara says she gets “confused.”
LMAO, what the actual F*******CK? He manages venues, Tamara. It’s a step above giving bogans rental properties in Nerang on the Gold Coast, but whatever.
Brent, after weeks of being undermined by his psychotic wife, understandably storms away. He throws his ring on the table. It’s awesome.
Jack follows him out.
Brent tells Jack that he can’t be in the same room as Tamara right now. Jack says he has to be there for Dom.
I love both of these boys.
“Well done, Dom-in-ica. Deadset.” Firstly, it’s DO-MEN-ICA. Secondly, she acts like it’s Domenica’s fault that Tamara is an awful person.
Selina then defends her new Vegemite bestie and asks how it was Domenica’s fault.
The girls yell across the table.
Domenica says that she was just telling Brent the truth. Olivia keeps calling Domenica “awful” without any self awareness of her own awfulness.
Domenica tells the group that she isn’t going to listen to Olivia anymore. Olivia, being the awful person that she is, tells Dom she looks really bothered by her.
Domenica says she’s not affected by Olivia. Well, that makes one of you, Domenica. I am about to smash my own wine glass.
This is horrible. Olivia is horrible.
Olivia says that she is going to tell Jack everything Domenica has been saying about him.
“Let’s go. Secrets,” says Olivia.
She then tells the group that Domenica was sitting in her apartment about 5000 weeks ago and trashed Jack’s ability to have sex.
“He c*ms quickly…” she says. FFS, girl. Use your head!!
Jack is rightfully upset. But… he’s upset with Olivia.
Domenica says that it was all contextualised because it was Intimacy Week. Ella confirms this and says everyone was venting.
Olivia, thinking she has a one up, says that Domenica didn’t deny it. Well, yeah. Because she tells the truth. Olivia has denied over and over that she sought out finding dirt on Domenica to try and assassinate her entire character.
Jack says that none of this is new information, as they have discussed sex. In public, on the couch, with Alessandra.
In legitimately the only time we see the experts tonight, they agree.
“This is not new information,” Alessandra says.
Check mate, Olivia.
Brent enters back into the experiment because truly, no one ever really storms off for real unless you are Andrew Davis (remember him?!).
Olivia continues to spout a bunch of bulls*it, saying that Tamara didn’t trash Brent. I mean, she did, but go off babe.
Brent says that it’s not about trashing him, it’s that she doesn’t even know what he does for a living. Also, didn’t we cover this hours ago?!
Tamara says that she doesn’t think that’s a big deal. Lol, wut?!
To break up the tension, the experts enter.
They announce that everyone will now have to answer questions from the Honesty Box. This seems good and healthy and not at all psycho.
It’s Cody and Selina up first.
Cody asks Selina: “How attracted to you do you think I am?”
Jesus Christ! These questions are evil.
“Do you think I’m as into you as you are to me?” asks Cody.
“I don’t know, and that’s a concern,” says Selina.
Wow I hate this.
Cody seems taken aback that all of his efforts of doing nothing and treating Selina like sh*t have made it seem like he’s not that into her.
“How do you feel about me right now? Describe your feelings!” says Selina.
Oh my god. Cody laughs a lot and the boys say he’s welcome to have a big drink before he answers.
“I adore you,” says Cody.
I for one don’t believe him!
Selina drills down further. “As a friend or a girlfriend?” Firstly, you’re married, so GF is null and void at this point. Secondly, he says: “You’re my partner. We’re together.”
Oh my GOD this is GOOD?! I am TRES CONFUSED?! THEY’RE HAPPY?!
It’s Domenica and Jack’s turn next.
“How attracted are you to me sexually?” asks Domenica.
“Nine out of ten,” says all of Australia’s boyfriend Jack.
“How can I have been a better partner to you?” is the next question from Domenica.
“Accepting who I am and not listening to outside noise., Jack tells her. GAWD he is so pragmatic. Where do we all find a Jack?
Domenica tells Jack he can ask her anything he wants.
“Do you see longevity in this relationship?” he asks his wife.
Domenica takes a LOOOONG time to answer. Like even Tamara gets awkward.
“Long pause,” Tamara says, pointing out the fkn obvious.
Domenica finally answers.
“It’s been really hard to see longevity with you.”
WHAT THE F*CK IS HAPPENING?! Domenica! What?!
Tamara eggs on Domenica. “Answer the question.” For the first time… probably ever… I agree with Tamara.
Answer Jack, Domenica.
“Listening to my heart and my head, I always had doubts.”
F*CK OFF. I’m closing my laptop. Bye everyone see you never. Bye….
Well, after that absolute horror movie, it’s time for the sequel. It’s Brent and Tamara’s time.
“What’s your favourite thing about me?” asks Tamara.
Brent says that she’s incredibly fun, but she can be judgemental. LOL what gave that away?! The part where she said that she was above all retail employees?
They seem to be having…fun?!
“Do you feel like you’ve wasted your time with me here?” is the next question.
“No,” says Brent.
OMG he’s TOO NICE.
It’s Brent turn. Ask anything, is the direction.
“If you could date Justin Bieber or save my life, which one would you do?”
Tamara says it’s too stressful.
“It’s a life. I’d save your life. But I’d cry a lot,” she says, and I’m flummoxed by this whole interaction.
Next up is satan and her husband. It’s Olivia and Jackson.
“Liv, do you feel married to me?” asks Jackson. Duuhhhhhh. She’s done the How To Lose a Guy In Ten Days move and basically photoshopped their faces together to work out what their babies look like.
“Yes! Of course!” she says, to the surprise of no one.
“How confident are you that this relationship will last on the outside?” Jackson asks.
“I’m 99 per cent confident.”
“Is there anything you regret in the experiment?” asks Jackson.
“I’m gonna say no,” says the woman who has already declared to Australia that she lacks any empathy.
Jackson looks disappointed, but what else is new?
It’s Olivia’s turn.
“Do you think my feelings for you are stronger than they are for me?” Olivia questions.
Jackson answers. “Well, to be perfectly honest, I do think your feelings are stronger at the moment.”
Welllllllllllllll yeh.
Olivia is NOT happy, but honestly, when is she?
OIivia questions why Jackson doesn’t feel the same and says that maybe she doesn’t fit into his life.
No, babe. It’s because you are a horrible wench.
It’s Mitch and Ella’s turn next.
This is going to be a car crash. Mitch has a history of being not honest at all and then being brutally honest.
“Are you falling in love with me?” asks Mitch.
Cool, straight out with a bang.
Ella says that neither of them have said it as adults, but she’s on the path to falling in love with Mitch.
Oh, sweet Ella.
Everyone applauds except Mitch.
“Do you believe that one day I’ll fall in love with you?” Mitch quizzes Ella.
“I’d like to think you might, but I can’t guarantee that,” she answers.
I hate this.
Then there’s this:
“Do you think that I know what it takes to have a long term committed relationship with you?”
“Everything Mitch has said about relationships and marriage is not how I feel about it,” she says. RED F*CKING FLAG, BABE!
Ella says that Mitch has never been able to give her a straight answer about their relationship.
“I feel insecure,” says Ella.
Mitch says he doesn’t need to say how he feels or be loving and caring. Omg Mitch, just stop talking.
“I don’t show love through these kind of avenues. I just don’t and I never will. Simple.” says Mitch, like a smug f*ck boi.
Does he think he has won this? Being a total dickhead has won the argument?
Ella starts crying.
“Well we got final vows coming up and wooooooo,” Mitch says to an emotional Ella in a threatening way.
F*ck off.
“This is a big conversation,” says Mitch.
MITCH! BABE! THE SHOW IS CALLED MARRIED AT FIRST SIGHT! STOP ACTING SURPRISED IT’S ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS.
Ella walks away.
Tomorrow it’s final vows. There isn’t enough wine in the world for another Brent and Tamara showdown, yet here we are. All we have is each other, guys.
See you tomorrow.
Want more Married at First Sight Australia 2022 Dinner Party Recaps?
Married at First Sight Australia Dinner Party Episode 16 Recap: Aircon Foreshadows Armageddon
Married at First Sight Australia Dinner Party Episode 6 Recap: Can a Shoey Save a Marriage?
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