Married at First Sight Australia 2022‘s Domenica Calarco and Ella Ding are being called out for victim-blaming sexual assault survivors.
In the March 6 episode of the duo’s Sit With Us podcast, Domenica and Ella recapped 2024 bride Sara Mesa‘s cheating scandal and unpacked her claims that Jack Dunkley touched her inappropriately on several occasions.
However, their commentary was found to be rather concerning by a plethora of listeners.
Domenica said that given the conversation revolves around “sexual assault”, Sara’s claims are “very damaging, potentially” to Jack.
“I don’t like this conversation of bringing sh*t up that is not actually that intense, or she’s not actually that upset about it, but making it a big deal,” the 31-year-old said. Yikes.
She added: “If you are sexually assaulted, you go to the police straight away. You don’t just hold onto it for five weeks and go to a producer and tell them about it.”
Domenica also said that “the lines can be very blurry” and that she believes Sara “misinterpreted” Jack’s actions as something sinister.
Meanwhile, Ella said that Sara bringing up Jack “tapping her on the butt” was “petty”.
Listeners hit out at Domenica Calarco for claiming people ‘go to the police straight away’
Taking to social media, several users criticised Domenica for claiming assault victims “go to the police straight away”.
“So now there is a timeframe on when you need to report being [sexually assaulted],” former MAFS groom Liam Cooper wrote.
Another said many people “don’t go to the police ‘cos of this kind of scrutiny.”
A third Instagram user decried Domenica and Ella’s commentary as “disgusting”.
“‘Go straight to the police’ isn’t true in any way! I can assure you going to the police isn’t the first thought!” they expressed.
“It’s also a scary step, as is the outcome of going through court and also not seeing a fair outcome handed down to the victim.
“My advice is to please choose your words wisely before speaking on a subject that’s damaging and traumatic.”
One listener questioned why “Sara need[s] to be upset for it to be truthful”.
“Some people wait years to go to the police… The victim blaming, my God.”
Fans slam Domenica and Ella for ‘invalidating’ Sara’s experience of sexual assault
Another upset fan penned: “This is so disappointing. I was a victim of harassment and sexual assault at work, and it took me 12 months to even tell anyone about it. Dom’s assertion that you “go straight to the police” is flat-out wrong.
“I had no idea how to feel about it or what to do, and sometimes it was as ‘innocuous’ as a tap on the bum or leg. I was pretty mortified to hear them both absolutely diminish Sara’s experiences. Gross.”
Another fan said, “I was sexually assaulted at the age of 16 by a 45-year-old man. It took me eight months to tell my own MOTHER, let alone the police. The shame, embarrassment and guilt I felt was next level. Domenica can get f*cked for that comment.”
According to data obtained by the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS), a 2022 study found that 92 per cent of women who experienced sexual assault did not report the incident to police.
The ABS also reported that only 73 per cent of sexual assault victims reported the incident to authorities within a year of it occurring (according to a 2019 reference period).
Fans label Domenica and Ella’a comments ‘anti-feminist’
MAFS 2023 bride Bronte Schofield responded to their comments by criticising them for constantly tearing other women down.
“Strong women lift and help build each other up. It’s sad to see that two people who have been through this experiment are pointing fingers and, can I also say, taking it so seriously? They must be getting a pretty fat payday to continuously tear down participants, and in this case and most cases, women,” she wrote.
Many fans also called out Domenica and Ella for deciding when, how and if sexual assault victims report abuse.
“This is so messed up!! They’re invalidating a clear boundary violation and form of sexual assault because it’s not “assaulty” enough for them to warrant police involvement,” one person penned.
“If we want women to feel confident speaking truth to power and coming forward about their experiences of SA, we need to support them when they use their voices, not shoot them down because “others have it worse”!
“These two are so cooked and uneducated. Literally the opposite of feminism,” one fan hit back. “They are horrid.”
“Wtf, ladies? “What happened to women supporting women and making a statement saying that all people that are SA go straight to the police? That is definitely not always the case,” one user wrote. “Please choose your words carefully and grow up!”
Another said, “To quote former US Secretary of State Madeleine Albright: ‘There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women’.”
Fans ‘unfollow’ Domenica and Ella after ‘dangerous’ and ‘damaging’ sexual assault comments
Other fans who expressed their concerns vowed never to listen to or follow the former MAFS brides again.
“This is really disappointing. I can’t in good conscience continue to follow them after they minimise how a woman should feel if they get unwanted male attention… of ANY kind,” another upset fan wrote.
“They’ve fully shown themselves lately – so disappointing,” another said.
“They just get worse and worse. Watch there be no apology or accountability. It’ll somehow be So Dramatic!’s fault,” one person added.
Domenica Calarco claims Sit With Us commentary has been ‘blown out of proportion’
One fan took to TikTok under a clip of the Sit With Us episode to question why Domenica “couldn’t respond to this in a serious matter”.
“The things you’ve said are so wrong and hurtful,” they expressed.
According to the TV bride-turned-media personality, her and Ella’s conversation has been “misinterpreted and blown out of proportion”.
“I know the truth and what I meant, and if people want to misinterpret, then that isn’t on me,” she wrote online.
“This was part of a larger conversation that was cut down for the podcast. I would never shame a victim!!!! I am also a survivor and would NEVER do that.”
She also responded by sharing a TikTok miming Taylor Swift lyrics. However, the video was deleted after fans pointed out that the singer had successfully sued DJ David Mueller after alleging he had grabbed her butt.
So Dramatic! has contacted Nine, DM Podcasts and LiSTNR Podcasts for comment.
If you or someone you know needs help, please contact BeyondBlue on 1300 224 636 or Lifeline on 13 11 14. If you or someone you know has been the victim of a sexual assault, please contact the Sexual Assault & Domestic Violence National Help Line on 1800 Respect (1800 737 732) or head to The Australian Human Rights Commission for a list of state-by-state resources.
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