Love Island Australia 2022 proves why countless young women worldwide have severe trust issues after Mitch Eliot and Callum Hole‘s absolutely F*CKED game of Truth or Dare.
ICYMI (How could you not?!): During the November 16 episode, Callum and Mitch played the Welshman’s version of “Monopoly” with bombshells Vakoo Kauapirura and Phoebe Han.
While Monopoly is about buying property, the boys (nay, children) decided to switch it up a little by turning the fun family game (lol) into a licking, kissing and unbuckling of the pants-fest!
Mitch’s bae — who he infamously said he was “falling for, not fallen” — Phoebe Spiller, heard the entire thing and was left feeling physically ill with a panic attack.
Now, during the November 17 episode of the hit show, we have been forced to watch the kids show little remorse for their actions — and somebody, teach these two a goddamn lesson.
“How can he just stand there and start pissing himself laughing and say, oh f*ck sorry!'” Phoebe said of Mitch while on the floor sobbing.
“I can’t deal with this sh*t,” she says and neither can we babes, neither can we.
Love Island Australia’s Callum Hole and Mitch Eliot Show Little Remorse for Their Actions
Austen Bugeja — who was originally sitting with the delinquents before legging it for his own good — was in disbelief over the boys’ actions.
“I honestly thought that Mitch was a fricken top bloke, but the respect on Phoebe, that’s all I care about,” he said, before adding that he “obviously” hasn’t got “a lot” for her.
F*cking Callum then goes into the Beach Hut and is more concerned about being caught since they were in “a little corner”.
“Oh my God! What are the chances?” he says, and the chances are pretty high, bro, since where’s there’s YOU, there’s ALWAYS a f*cking fire.
Mitch and Callum then discuss the hiccup, with Mitch saying: “She’s not happy, bro, she’s not happy,” and noooooo sh*t, BRO. Of course, she ain’t happy, before he went to the teepee to laugh about the whole damn thing. MY F*CKING GOD.
Callum then gets even MORE airtime in the Beach Hut, and truly, we need him to stop speaking.
“I think Phoebe thinks I’m a bad influence on him, but I’m just bringing the best out of Mitchy-boy,” he says.
“He’s here to have fun, he’s not here to make babies, you know what I mean?” Dude, this is Love Island. You’re here to find LOVE, not try and bed as many women as possible and ruin other people’s f*cking chances.
Truly, we’ve never seen so much drama early on in this show, and we haven’t even had Casa Amor yet!
Love Island Australia’s Phoebe Spiller Thinks SHE Looks Like the “Idiot”
During what is probably the most relatable and horrendous point of the fallout, Phoebe says, “I look like an idiot”, seemingly feeling like SHE’s the one who looks bad.
Thankfully, the other Islanders aren’t that stupid and say Mitch owes HER an apology.
“Right now, she needs reassurance,” Stella Hutcheon says in a piece-to-camera. “And he’s not giving that to her. Like, she’s crying, and it’s almost like he couldn’t care less.” Lol, umm…that’s because he couldn’t…
Phoebe, who has now calmed down, says to Stella: “So, do I go up to him and say ‘come here before I stab you to death’?” before Austen, Stella, Claudia Bonfiazio and Jordan Dowsett tell her she should go have a “f*cking chat” with him.
“I’m sorry for the language,” sweet Austen says in the Beach Hut, still reeling from the events of the evening. “I’m sorry, but THAT was f*cking stupid. It’s very f*ck boy-ie. You can’t be doing that!” THANK YOU, AUSTEN.
Side Note: Where are the other two culprits, i.e. Vakoo and Phoebe H? Because they also have some ‘splaining to do.
Oh wait, Phoebe is talking with Al Perkins… *insert eye roll here*.
Meanwhile, back in the naughty corner:
Austen then warns the boys that Phoebe is “coming” because they are “f*cked” and puts the fear of God in Mitch’s eyes.
Love Island Australia’s Phoebe Spiller Confronts Mitch Eliot
In a piece-to-camera, Phoebe then questions Mitch for not checking on her.
“I don’t know what was going through his head that he wouldn’t even think to come check on me,” she says, and I think we’ve learned by now he doesn’t think — at least with his head…
“I thought that was so weak of him.”
As Claudia, Stella, and Maddy Gillbanks — led by Phoebe — walk over to the teepee, the boys are STILL laughing.
“Are you going to keep laughing or are you gonna come talk to me?” Phoebe asks him incredulously.
“Or are you just going to be a f*cking pr*ck.” Probably a “f*cking pr*ck”, let’s be honest…
To Mitch’s credit, he tells Phoebe the truth — that his dare was for Phoebe H to “undo my pants”.
SILENCE.
“And my shirt.”
SILENCE.
“And it got heated, and that’s what just happened.”
“Is that seriously what you’re saying to me,” she says. “That makes me feel like a f*cking mug, and me walking up there and seeing her unbuckle your pants, and then you sit there and p*ss yourself laughing made me feel f*cking sick.” GO OFF, GF!!
“And if you came up there and saw a guy unbuttoning my dress and licking my stomach, what would you do?!”
“I’d be spewin’,” he said. DAMN RIGHT.
“You put so much effort and trust into a guy, and it is so easy for him just to throw it all away because they don’t f*cking think, and it really p*sses me off that every single guy is the exact same,” Phoebe says and she’s not entirely wrong…
Love Island Australia’s Mitch Eliot Gives a Bullsh*t Excuse
Phoebe then tells Mitch he’s “such a f*cking prick, and that was such a d*ck move, and I will never tolerate a guy treating me like that.” YESSS GURL!!!
Instead of actually apologising, Mitch tells her that he “f*cked up” and it’s “really out of character” for him (sure, Jan) and says he doesn’t “know why” he did it because he’s “soooo in to” her.
Mate, we can tell you. You were thinking with little Mitch and NOT YOUR GODDAMN HEAD.
“I just thought I’d have a bit of fun, and that’s not an excuse. It doesn’t mean anything. But, there’s no excuse for why I did that.”
Boy, this ain’t a sorry. This is a pathetic excuse to make yourself feel better. We fuming!!
Love Island Australia’s Mitch Eliot Says That He’s “NOT Even Going to Say Sorry”
Accompanied by some v sad music, Phoebe tells the camera: “He keeps saying that he has this f*ckboy side of him, and, if you can’t change being a f*ckboy, then what am I doing with you?”
She then reminds him that he “sat there reassuring me, and then you go do something like that” before telling him she doesn’t “trust” him. Looks like Holly Oakes-Ferguson was right!
“Mitch has just proved to me that he is not who I thought he was,” she says in the Beach Hut once again.
Then we are back to their convo, where Mitch says this: “I’m not even going to say sorry because I know you don’t want to hear that.”
ACA-EXCUSE ME?! SHE DOES, YOU MORON.
“I don’t think you’re sorry either,” she says.
“Did he really think he would play that game and go to sleep at night next to me and probably kiss me and do all the things and act like nothing happened? I think that’s what he would have done if I didn’t walk in on it.”
Phoebe then walks away, and gurl, we fkn love you! Don’t let no f*ckhead bring you down!
Love Island Australia’s Phoebe Spiller Tells an M.I.A Layla John About the Game of Truth or Dare
Layla John, coupled with ol’ mate Callum, had been suspiciously absent, so Phoebe tells her what happened.
And then Layla says what we are all thinking:
“You’re literally asking for it if you’re going to play Truth or Dare, especially in a place like this villa, with the newest bombshells…You’re literally dumb and dumber!”
Callum then tells Vakoo he wants to kiss her, and she agrees she wants to kiss him, but then later tells Layla that he’s “changing” and doesn’t “want to sleep on me own”.
He then reveals that he’s not interested in any of the other girls, and truly, we cannot give these idiots any more brain capacity.
Layla takes “half an egg” out of Callum’s basket because he’s “saying all the right things”, and Layyyla… Layla…LAYLA.
She then tells Vakoo and Phoebe H to stay away from her mans.
And just when we thought the DRAHAMAAA was finally over, the f*cked four got together in the teepee.
In a piece-to-camera, Callum reveals: “Layla is staying on the back burner,” while hitting his ass before saying that the bombshells are his new “pursuits”.
“It’s called playing the field, baby!”
F*CK RIGHT OFF.
With that, the rest of the episode goes on and, f*ckity-doo. Catch ya never, Mitch and Callum. You’re in the limbo lounge forever.
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