We’re just gonna say it: Married at First Sight‘s Al Perkins is possibly the biggest man-child to ever grace reality TV screens.
During the season’s fifth episode, we met 25-year-old Al ahead of his blind nuptials to Samantha Moitzi, and let’s just say this is not going to go well.
To begin with, Samantha confessed to the experts that she was totally done with dating boys. However, in another attempt to ruin somebody else’s life, they paired her with a literal child who “rates” himself an 11 out of ten and who can’t even tuck his own bloody shirt in on his wedding day.
Oh, and his vows were a stiff recitation of Eminem’s Lose Yourself… so, there’s that.
Put simply, Al and Samantha’s unity is reality TV’s answer to Friends‘ Rachel and her airheaded assistant-slash-boyfriend, Tag… except this time, exactly nobody is rooting for them to work out.
Al… You’re 25. Time To Retire The Shoey
Married at First Sight‘s Al really admitted that he can take things too far, then continued to take things too far in spectacular fashion.
During the season’s first dinner party, he decided it would be a great time to whip off one of his shoes for a “shoey”.
ICYMI: A shoey is the act of pouring a drink into your empty shoe and guzzling it like an absolute caveman.
Safe to say Australia was divided over the cringe-worthy act.
"I know I can be immature…I'm going to be on my best behaviour."
— 💉Nez💉💉 (@fraggle73) February 7, 2022
10 mins in Al's doing a shoey.#MAFS #MAFSAU
There's something endearing about Al trying to ease the tension in the room by doing a shoey #MAFS
— Alex (@Murr_Wurr) February 7, 2022
Surely it’s too early to be drinking out of a shoe, even by Al standards #MAFSAU #MAFS
— Scotty doesn’t know (@HamstringAware1) February 7, 2022
LMFAO so obvious Al has never been to an adult gathering #mafsau #MAFS pic.twitter.com/1jLu4rnFR8
— Ariadne Quinn 💉💉💉 (@ariadne_quinn) February 7, 2022
Al Wants An Independant Woman… Yet His Mum Is His Literal Live-In Servant
I don’t think we’ll ever recover from the way Al allows his mother to wait on him hand and foot.
This isn’t an exaggeration. Methinks this Bondi-based tradie took some tips from Cardi B because this boy don’t cook, don’t clean and yet somehow, he’s been given a ring to wed a woman. God help her.
SO AL ASKED FOR AN AMBITIOUS AND INDEPENDENT WOMAN BUT DOESNT DO HIS OWN WASHING ?? #MAFS #MarriedAtFirstSight #MAFSAU pic.twitter.com/ZK4no2TFCO
— Reality TV Tweets (@RealityTVTweet3) February 6, 2022
Al be like…. #MAFSAU #MAFS #MAFSAustralia pic.twitter.com/FrKT9xfEXj
— Shit Sports Chat (@ShitSportsChat) February 6, 2022
I don’t care how close you are to your Mum. Tuck your own shirt in and learn how to clean your clothes. Al is a man child. #MAFS #MAFSAU #MarriedAtFirstSight
— Deanna Grey (@DeannaKatee) February 6, 2022
If you like cleaning up after people and doing their laundry and dressing them, then Al is your dream man!!! #mafsau #mafs pic.twitter.com/hajULOYbpR
— Ariadne Quinn 💉💉💉 (@ariadne_quinn) February 6, 2022
However, Mama Perkins took great joy in absolutely dragging her son on national TV over this exact fact.
Basically Al’s mum: #mafs #mafsau pic.twitter.com/DiZ6BkzTHD
— Ira Snave (@IraSnave) February 6, 2022
#MAFS Al’s mum throwing Al under the bus without being aware of it – hahaha
— Gidgit VonLaRue (@GidgitVonLaRue) February 6, 2022
Al’s mum throwing Al under the bus 🤣😂 #MAFS pic.twitter.com/8H8Y5SC5cc
— Sonia (@Sonia3044) February 6, 2022
Married at First Sight‘s Al Thinks He’s God’s Gift To Women
When asked to list his best attributes, let’s just say Al only takes himself at face value… literally.
“My best qualities are definitely my body, my smile, my face in general,” he explained, adding: “My personality, sometimes.”
As for his insecurities? “Probably my legs. They aren’t as muscly as I want them to be.”
Al thinks he’s a work of art. Unfortunately for him it’s this one.. #mafs #mafsau pic.twitter.com/wuazyfWx2Y
— Ben Shute (@Ben_Shute) February 6, 2022
Al is so dumb it hurts 😂 #MAFS pic.twitter.com/wU6pDpFVda
— MAHONEY (@cdtmahoney) January 31, 2022
Al looks in the mirror and sees peak Tom Cruise.
— MAHONEY (@cdtmahoney) February 6, 2022
Dude thinks he’s Maverick.
But he’s really Joel from “Risky Business.” 💯#MAFS #MAFSAU pic.twitter.com/c4nYIW4Wwu
So, it’s absolutely no surprise that Samantha — a smart, headstrong, independent woman — wasn’t picking up what her new hubby was putting down.
This is pretty much Al and Samantha.#MAFSAU #MAFS #MAFSAustralia pic.twitter.com/H0DYFJsavb
— DEANNE! (@DEANNE_Shows) February 6, 2022
Haha…. Sam droppin truth bombs… “there’s no depth” #mafsau #mafs
— Ariadne Quinn 💉💉💉 (@ariadne_quinn) February 6, 2022
Al be like… huh?? pic.twitter.com/WbTJnelqUU
Samantha rewriting her vows after meeting Al #mafs #MAFSAU pic.twitter.com/8QTOKyHxbq
— Unlucky Lingerie (@unluckylingerie) February 6, 2022
And yet, somehow, the carpenter could not grasp that she just wasn’t into him.
breaking: al is shocked that a working relationship has more to do with than just looks #MAFS #MAFSAU
— alysha (taylor’s version) (@intosneedy) February 6, 2022
Al: I can’t see anything wrong with Al.
— Despicable Bree 💖💜💙 (@breelivetweet) February 6, 2022
Us:
#MAFS pic.twitter.com/ZqUutYaisi
Dear MAFS, Please Don’t Destroy Sweet, Sweet Samantha
If anything was to come out Samantha and Al’s nuptials, it’s that fans of MAFS are PRAYING that the bride gets the justice she deserves after her absolute crime of a wedding.
Samantha is in floaties because she’s going to need rescuing this season.#MAFS #MAFSAU pic.twitter.com/HlpkHvWSec
— So Dramatic! (@sodramaticpod) February 6, 2022
They’ve done Samantha the biggest dirty matching her with immature gronk Al. Smh #mafs #mafsau
— Viv Houston (@viv_houston) February 6, 2022
Ok, Samantha wins the show. I know there are no winners. But if there were, it’s her #mafs #mafsau
— Ben Shute (@Ben_Shute) February 6, 2022
Did Samantha piss off the producers somehow? Is that how she ended up with Al? #MAFS #MAFSAU pic.twitter.com/eAFV0u1RwG
— Just Sue. (@SueKennedy19) February 6, 2022
Surely it can’t get any worse from here, right? RIGHT?!
Want even more goss? Listen to episode 145 of the So Dramatic! podcast with Megan Pustetto below!
Watch Married at First Sight Australia on Sundays at 7.00 pm and Monday – Wednesday at 7.30 pm on Channel Nine.
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